How do you defend the women who hurt you?

My babies, what’s up? Today, I just kind of wanted to get some stuff off my chest. I don’t have a rant inside of me wanting to come out, just sadness. I’m actually not sad right now, because God shed light and strength over my heart, but to me it’s still a sad topic.

A little background: I really think that I was placed in this world to not only help people discover themselves and paint a new picture for their life, but I really think I was meant to be a warrior for women. Most of the pain in my life, is in someway woman-based. The struggles from my past I hope to bear open, and the ones I still fight today, are all ones I so passionately want to see abolished for women everywhere. That is not a coincidence. We often are meant to fight the very thing we suffered from the most. That being said, I can finally see clearly that the enemy is really trying to get me off track. He’s often used women to hurt me, in hopes that in return I’ll start disliking women, and therefore not fight for them. Let that sink in for a moment.

He’s often used women to hurt me, in hopes that in return I’ll start disliking women, and therefore not fight for them. That stuff is real y’all.

Which leads me to a question I often ask myself: “How do you defend the same women who hurt you?”

I have such a big message of love, forgiveness, peace and support inside of me, but how do I deal with those feelings of hurt I have as well? I dream of a world where we all are indeed our sister’s keeper. That we’ll defend women whether they are there or not. That we will be intolerant of degrading talk against our sisters, and that we will fight for each other always. I really do. How do I do that with the women who don’t have the best intentions? It’s a tough question. It’s a touchy one. One that you may have encountered too.

Your question may come in one of the following forms:
How do I defend women when my mom so badly hurt me?
How do I defend women when girls I thought were my best friends betrayed me?
How do I defend women when they won’t leave my boyfriend alone even though they’re an ex?
How do I defend women when she slept with my father knowing he was married?
How do I defend women when they hate on my success and wish me harm?

There are endless ways to form the question…sadly…because we have all experienced something that has stood as a barrier to us being our sister’s keeper. After acknowledging this within myself my next obvious question was, “Well what do I do about it?” This issue is real, and it may not ever go away. If it doesn’t, what am I going to do? Am I going to put my dreams on hold? Am I going to let women who are clearly carrying hurt of their own derail me from my destiny?

My answer is: No.

It’s a tough no. One that comes with a cringe, and a wince. One that comes with flashing memories of those who have hurt me to my core, but it’s still a hard no.

I have to remind myself that my work is intended to prevent stuff like that from happening. It’s intended to become embedded so deep within me that my children won’t know anything different than support and love for their fellow brothers or sisters. It will come with my forgiveness towards them, and consequently my liberation from them. Always remember, forgive, for you. Forgive, because they don’t deserve to have a hold on you. Forgive, because you were meant to live in freedom.

I’m not sure what barriers life has tried to pop in front of you to derail you from your dreams and destiny. I share mine in hopes that you’ll look at your barrier and fiercely say no back. I love you all.