May 8th, 2019 – My 28th Birthday

In the days leading up to my birthday I feel like I finally realized I consciously wanted to slow-down. Lately it feels like I have been moving a mile a minute, and while that’s not a bad thing, the last thing I want is for any part of my life to feel like a blur. I feel like I’ve had more time in previous years to reflect on the year, what went on, and what’s to come….this year I feel like I dropped that specific ball.

2019 has been FLYING…May came before I even knew it and once Cinco de Mayo, my precious mama’s birthday, came, it really hit me that mine was literally around the corner. My birthday is in two days y’all, (I’m writing this before) that’s wild. Well, one day now since I didn’t finish this post yesterday. See what I’m talking about! I’m just singing praises that I have my last school final today so that I’m actually FREE on my birthday. God is good!

As I sit and reflect on this past year I just can’t help but be in awe of what God has done. I barely even realized all of the blessings that came my way on my 27th year. I want to remember it forever. Some of the highlights were:

  • May– Celebrating my 27th birthday in California, woot woot, and also finding out on that trip that I got into Georgetown!
  • July– Buying my first ever house with my best friend!
  • August– Moving into our new house, furnishing it, and having SO much fun decorating…while also starting my MBA at Georgetown and going through the grueling SGI (it’s like boot-camp for first-year MBAs)
  • October– Going to Europe for the first time ever! AAAHHH! I saw so, so much, went to four countries, and best of all saw my amazing sister in her current home city of Madrid.
  • November– Celebrated an amazing Thanksgiving in Ithaca, NY and got promoted at work!
  • December– Went to Mexico for Christmas, bringing my love along for the first time!
  • January– Went to Curacao to celebrate the love of my life’s 30th birthday. ❤
  • February– Launched Beauty + Intellect the IG page @beauty.intellect
  • March- Went to Mexico and had an amazing, rejuvenating time with family

I would say that it’s been an amazing year. I traveled a lot, explored the world with my best friend, saw my family a lot (which is a huge accomplishment), and also started my MBA (a lifelong dream).

As I reflect though too, I remember the hard parts of this year. The lessons, the changes…I’ve watched grandparents get older, and with that I’ve watched the guilt, the thoughts, the pain in me grow. I’ve felt the yearning to just be close to my family, while facing the realization that it’s just hard sometimes when you live so spread out among the world. I’ve felt overwhelmed at times with everything I’ve taken on, but I’ve also felt confident and secure in moving forward. I’ve watched myself take steps to achieve dreams I’ve had since I was little, and with that I’ve watched God show up….EVERY….SINGLE….TIME. He always does what I can’t. I put in what I can, and he puts in the rest. Always. Theme of my life.

I’ve also watched myself struggle so much with wanting to feel healthy and good in my body. Battling with my body rejecting SO many foods, and struggling to identify the issue. BUT, I’ve also leaned into love of self and body for the RIGHT reasons. I don’t want to be someone who just wants to be beautiful for beautiful’s sake. I want to feel beautiful, and by that I mean healthy, and good, and alive, and energetic. I launched Beauty + Intellect this year, a heart-dream of mine. With that, I’ve had to reflect so much, and constanty. Beauty + Intellect is something that creates spaces for women to feel beautiful, and a lot of that involves drawing attention to why sometimes we don’t feel beautiful, and it’s deep stuff man. But the beautiful part about it is that I don’t have it all together. I don’t have all of the answers, or have the journey secured. I’m on that journey. What’s great about that is I need all of the encouragement I put out. I’m talking to myself as much as others. It’s real. It’s raw. It’s honest. I’m on the journey too, so it’s not fake. I created it because I knew if I needed it, maybe, just maybe, others did too. I also just wanted to be able to do this work before I ever, god-willing, became a mom in the future. I want to raise women who are body positive, and confident, and understand beauty is being healthy and happy and kind to yourself. I also know though, that it’s best learned by example, not speech, so the change had to happen within me first.

This year has been amazing. I have hope in my heart for the future. I pray I become a better person at 28, one whose capacity for love grows, capacity for empathy magnifies and capacity for forgiveness increases. I hope I hold tight to those I love and I hope I show them how I feel about them often. Thank you God, for being my light through everything, I can’t live this life without you.

Until next time,

JCar

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